011 Know Thy Enemy Part 2 (Says Who? series)

It's bad enough that we have a lot of junk thoughts floating through our heads all on our own, but when thoughts come to us from the outside from a malicious enemy of your soul, it can get hard to deal with it all. Luckily for you, this episode will help you discern the difference between your own thoughts and feelings, and when you're hearing from the enemy. Your own voice has identifiable characteristics, and the way you speak to yourself has unique tendencies that are particular to you. Fortunately for us, the enemy also has some enduring tendencies that we can spot if we're looking for them. Join me in this episode to figure out if you're hearing just your own negative thoughts, or if the enemy has you under attack. 

Transcript

Welcome back everybody to Holystic Christian Prayer. 

So I just wanted to say right off the bat, I'm really sorry, guys. I fell way behind in getting out this episode and also the next one. So for those of you guys who listen to podcasts and you are used to getting things out on a timely manner, well, I I just I'm not that guy. So I'm really sorry. I'm doing my best, but just know that I'm I'm not stopping. I'm gonna continue to release episodes as often as I possibly can. I am still very much motivated to do this podcast, so bear with me, please be patient, and I will get out these episodes as fast as I can for you guys.

What's interesting is as I was getting ready and preparing this episode for you guys, I realized part of the reason why it was taking me so long was in part actually because of spiritual warfare, but the other reason was because I just had so much to say on the topic of spiritual warfare, and I just completely forgot that these episodes on the Says Who series, is it me, the enemy, or God that I'm hearing? These are really just meant to be beginning episodes. 

These are meant to be primers or starters on the on the topic, and spiritual warfare is a huge topic, and I just kind of forgot that this is meant to be a beginning type of uh like a starting point on that topic. So uh I struggled to just get the bare bones into this and just give you guys the basics, and uh because I had so much to say I just kinda got lost in it and forgot basically what the point of these episodes were, which is to get you guys familiar with uh the topic of who am I hearing from? And so later on we will get into spiritual warfare, but that is for another time, and there will be plenty of time to go into those topics. So that is part of the reason why this has taken so long to get out to you guys. Just thought you guys would like a little bit of background information why I've been stalling so much. So let's just jump into it. 

Remember a few episodes back when I strongly urged you to know what your own internal voice sounds like? Well, if you took the time to complete this step, you will have a much easier time differentiating your own internal voice from the voice of the enemy. This is especially true if you tend to be a little harsher or critical of yourself, or if you have a melancholy personality. 

However, remember that I said that the enemy is a copycat and a mimic? When his bolder and undisguised attacks are recognized and defended against, he simply changes tactics. This is spiritual warfare and just like human warfare, battle tactics must be changed often and carefully planned. Any general in worldly battlefields can tell you it is a great mistake to assume your enemy is a fool simply because he is your enemy. Satan is no fool. He is intelligent, clever, and changes his tactics over time. We must be on guard. 

Before I go on, I wanted to just let you guys know I'm gonna give you a little warning, a little heads up. Uh this is a trigger warning for anyone who is sensitive to things that have to do at all with uh depression or with suicide. Later on in the episode I will briefly talk about my own experiences with depression and suicide as it relates to hearing the voice of the enemy and telling the difference between our own voice and the enemy's voice. So if you are at all sensitive to that, be aware that I do talk about that in this episode, and just to be ready for it when it comes up. Okay, so if you haven't figured out what your internal voice sounds like yet, please go back and listen to episode number nine. I want to clarify something about that episode before we go on. 

When I say you need to figure out what your internal voice sounds like, I don't mean that you should be getting really quiet and straining to hear with your ears some voice from within you. All I mean is that you need a really good idea of how you talk to yourself silently within your own mind. Get an idea of what sorts of things you frequently find yourself thinking about or to yourself. 

Get an idea of the tone of those thoughts. Are they mostly logical? Do they circulate on certain topics or feelings? Do you have like a ocean of emotions? Is it like just everywhere, everything? Or does it seem to like more like, you know, instead of oceans more like ponds, you have like little pools of emotion, you know, little bursts of negativity or anger or sadness or whatever it is. When your emotions nosedive turning darker or more negative, how easy or difficult is it for you to pull up and level out? These are the kinds of answers you will need to know. Once you do, you'll have a good idea of what your internal voice sounds like. 

And the reason that that's important, guys, and I don't know if I spelled this up before, why I'm taking such great lengths to say all this is because if he can continue to get away with making you think the dark thoughts and feelings that you're having that he's putting in your mind or that he's whispering to you from the outside and you're hearing and absorbing and taking in, um, as your own thoughts and feelings and not his, he can get you to sort of do the work of beating you up. 

What I mean is if he says something to you like, you're a loser, you're never gonna do anything in your life, everyone hates you, no one wants to be around you, you're such a nuisance to everyone, like all those thoughts, if he can get you to start repeating those things to you only after saying it one time in a given day, if all he has to do is one time throughout the day come up to you and say, Hey, you're a loser, you know, and you pick that up and you're like, Oh, that's my own thought, that's my own feeling, and you just you carried along all day long, and you kind of like build on that, it's kind of like if you had a whole row of dominoes set up, right? They're all standing up upright, and he just has to knock down that first domino, you do all the rest of the work. Every-- you you knock down all the rest of the dominoes yourself. All he has to do is set off the first one and you maintain it the whole way. And before you know it, all the dominoes that you had set up, they're all knocked down. 

He wants it to be that you are the one inflicting the damage with little or no input from him at all. He wants us to be well trained to be self-destructive. That is the aim. That's what he wants. I mean, why would he want to busy himself or even his demons with trying to get us to tear tear us down if he can get us to do it ourselves? That's why it's so important to know when it's him speaking versus just your own thoughts and feelings, especially if you have those darker thoughts, especially if you have those thoughts that are um more harsh or self-critical, to know when it's the enemy is really, really important because he wants it to be where he just has to push that first domino and watch it all fall. That's why it's so important, guys. 

So earlier I said it's especially important for you to be aware of how your internal voice sounds, if your inner voice tends to be fairly harsh, self-critical, or somewhat melancholy. If your inner voice is one of those that tends to be harsh, critical, or melancholic, you will need to take some more detailed notes than everybody else. 

For example, if someone has an inner voice with a critical nature to it, they will need to note that their inner voice tends to focus on how other people fail to notice or appreciate their high quality work. Furthermore, that same person notices that their inner voice then becomes bitter and envious when other people's average quality work gets more recognition than their own high quality work. 

If a person learns these things about their inner voice, they will be quicker in telling them apart from when the enemy speaks to them. If, however, they are unaware of what their internal voice sounds like, they might mistake every cruel and false thing the enemy says to them as nothing more than their own dark thoughts and feelings. And of course, if someone doesn't even believe in the existence of the enemy, it is only natural that they would believe those dark thoughts and feelings to be their own. But just believing you have an enemy and being aware of what your own internal voice sounds like won't be enough to protect you from the enemy's attacks. 

As I said before, Satan, the enemy, is a copycat and a mimic. After you accept his existence and believe in his desire to hurt you, you will be more on guard and wary of his attacks. Before you believed it didn't matter if he disguised himself or not. He could attack you openly, without any fear that you'd discover him or defend yourself. Now that you do believe, he can't attack you in obvious ways. Now he has to disguise himself and make subtler attacks. 

One of the easiest ways he does this is by changing the way he speaks to you to sound like your own internal voice. He simply copies or mimics your own voice in hopes that you mistake his words to be your own. If he is successful in this, you are harmed, he is not suspected, and your guard remains down. Luckily, just as we all have characteristics to our own internal voice, the enemy has his own linguistic tells. If we can spot the ways that Satan tends to speak, we can better defend ourselves, and we will be less likely to mistake his harmful words as our own thoughts and feelings. First we will take a look at some scriptures that can help us, and afterwards I will share from my own experiences. I shared these two verses in the previous episode, but let's look at them again. Let's look at John chapter eight forty four and John chapter ten verse ten. Let's look at the first one. John chapter eight verse forty four. 

This is Jesus speaking about Satan. “He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in truth because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies.”

And now let's consider what Jesus says of Satan in John chapter ten, verse ten. 

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I have come that they may have life and have it to the full.”

From these verses, one thing is fairly obvious. Satan, the enemy, is a liar. Satan himself is the father of lies, and lying is at the center of his character. Second, the enemy is a thief. And third, the enemy is a bringer of death. To the first point, Satan lies. So the clearest way to tell when we are hearing from the enemy is to spot lies. 

In order to know what's a lie, you need to have a firm grasp on what's true. In other words, you need to know and believe what the Bible says. And just a side note, Satan knows what the Bible says, he knows what the Word of God is, he knows it better than most theologians. And he will use that to his advantage. You'll see what I mean later. It's just a way that.. he knows the scriptures so well he can bend them and twist them to mean or to sound like God means something other than he does. And it's just one of his ways of lying and doing his tricks.

So to the first point, yeah. Satan lies, you need to know what the Bible says because it is the truth, and you need to know it well, because your enemy does, and he will use that against you. So if what you're hearing, so like whether you're in a time of prayer or you're just kind of like mind your own business going throughout your day, and if you're hearing something that is in conflict with what you know to be true in Scripture, you can be certain you are not hearing from God. God doesn't contradict himself and he never lies. 

So if you hear something like you've really blown it now. God's never going to forgive you. He's left you for good this time. You can be certain that these things are the enemy. Why? Because first John chapter one verse nine says,  

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

And John chapter six, verse thirty-seven says, 

“All that the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never cast out.”

What you heard the enemy saying is a lie, and is in direct conflict with what Scripture says. So know the Scriptures and you will be able to spot the lies. Be on the lookout for anything at all that contradicts Scripture, and if it does, refuse to listen to it. And better yet, call it out as a lie. If if you if you can, if you're in a place where you can call it out and just say out loud, like that's a lie. Or if you can't, just do it in your in your own mind and ask God to show you the truth about the situation. So just do a quick prayer on the spot, be like, God, like I'm hearing this thing, I know what your word says about this, I know this to be a lie, show me the truth, comfort me in your truth, and and wait for God's assistance. So again, anything at all that contradicts scripture, refuse to listen to it. That is not God, that is the enemy. Okay? 

Now we can also tell ourselves lies. And that can make it a little bit confusing. Like, am I just lying to myself or is it the enemy lying to me? Well, in truth, you can kind of be your own enemy in a in a lot of ways. So it's not exactly super important to know whether it's a lie coming from the enemy or from yourself unless, of course, it's an area of recovery for you. If it's an area where you've been trying to um get some healing from, Satan will be especially cruel and try to come after you in those areas and try to destroy you because he is a destroyer. That's what he does. 

Now, in that example I just gave, like where Satan is saying things like, you know, you've really blown it, um, God's left you, he's never gonna forgive you, all those things. He's probably not gonna say something that obvious. He's not Satan isn't stupid. And so he's he's probably not gonna say anything that obvious. But instead, he'll often say things in a more covert way. He won't right out come and say, God's gonna, you know, leave you now. You know, it'll just be kind of like little snippets of things, like, do you really think God wants to hear from you? A lot of times it comes in the form of a question. It's questioning. We'll get into the the question thing later, but a lot of times it's just a question which seems to imply that God is unhappy with you or that he it would be unforgiving. So he's unlikely to do that, like say lies in in such a direct, bold way, and he's more likely to say something in a in a subtle way. But either way, there will be an element of a lie in it. And so you really need to know what scripture says to know what's true, in order to be able to spot a lie, whether it's uh it's an overt or covert type of delivery that Satan gives you this lie. But if you know the truth well, even a cleverly disguised lie will still appear to be a lie to you. And that's really, really important. 

So to the second point, the enemy is a thief. And what I mean by that is he tries to take things that don't belong to him, just like every thief does. But the difference is he doesn't steal physical things generally from you. Now there are there are times where Satan and the demons can cause like illnesses or or bad things to happen in the in the physical world, but by and large, most often the things that he's stealing from you aren't physical things. Uh most of the time it has to do with like well-being or has to do with your happiness or sense of closeness with God. He wants to steal that away from you. And so one of the ways that you can tell that it's the enemy speaking to you and not God, for sure, you know, definitely not God speaking to you this way, is if whatever you're hearing is trying to convince you that deserve something good that God has given to you, that you know that God's given to you, um, or he will try to rob you of happiness in a moment that has and in a way that has nothing to do with what's currently going on. 

So if you're sitting around and you're hanging out with your family and uh, you know, you you're really enjoying the time that you're having with your spouse and maybe your kids, and all of a sudden there there floats into your head a thought like, you really think you're that good of a mother? You really think, you know, your kids think you're a good dad? Again, notice the the question. There's a lot of question type attacks. Do you really think that your husband, your wife, really loves you? Do you do you really think that they even care that much about you? And it'll be in the middle of of something that has nothing to do with a bad situation. Right? 

You're hanging out with your your family, you're having a good time, and all of a sudden these thoughts just float seemingly into your mind, and you're like, wow, those are really negative, and they they might even be sandwiched with within a truth. Satan might say something like, You really think that your husband or wife really appreciates you? If you guys have had struggles in the past, like every couple has, uh, you know, especially if it's been anything like uh an affair of any kind. It'll be like, Do you really think that they're gonna remain faithful to you? I mean, and then then there will be a gouge at the character, to you or your spouse. And it'll be like, well, you've been kind of like, you know, not not keeping up your appearances very well. You haven't been really taking care of yourself, so of course they're gonna cheat on you again. 

You see that? Like, he's trying to rob you in that moment of any kind of happiness or joy that you're experiencing in the moment. In other words, Satan does not want to allow you to have happiness. He does not want to allow you to have peace, he does not want to allow you to have a sense of well-being, he does not want you to have a sense of closeness with other people or with God. So pretty much any opportunity he can, he's going to try to steal that from you. And this is a little bit harder because there's not like again, knowing the truth is gonna help you, knowing scriptures really well is gonna help you, because you're gonna be like, oh, well, that's obviously these these are obviously the words of a thief. They're trying to take, you know, this, this, and this thing from me. But it's not as obvious as just spotting a lie. There is an element of lie in what's being said to you and what you're hearing, but it's not as overt as my examples before. It's not as black and white or cut and dry as my first example. You have to not only know the truth, but you also have to have like situational awareness. 

Like, okay, this is all going really well. I've had a really good day so far, and all of a sudden these thoughts just float into my head, and they're unrelated to anything that's going on. It's a very good indication that's the enemy. So I'll have to try to find ways for you guys to be able to spot that more easily. But basically look for anything that you're currently enjoying that God has blessed you with, you know, a good family, a spouse, um, good friends, good neighbors, good coworkers, whatever. And in the moment that you are experiencing uh in the moment that you are enjoying the company of these people, or or whatever it is that you're doing, whatever it is that you're enjoying, thoughts flood into your head that make you think that you either don't deserve it, or that um people aren't being genuine with you. Basically, it gets you to like second guess either your worthiness of something, or that people are being truthful with you, or that God's being truthful with you. 

So he'll try to take those senses of well being, peace, joy, love, uh, belonging, any of those things, he will try to steal those from you. And if you let him, he will steal them at every turn. But if you know what the truth is, you can kind of Of defend against that a little bit by going, I know that this is a good thing, I know the truth about these things and these people in my life, and even though I can't have a hundred percent certainty, I know that these are good things, and I know that the enemy is a thief. And so you can kind of have your guard up against that. You might not have that 100% certainty that you have with just spying lies, but you can have your guard up against it nevertheless. Okay? I know I kind of babbled there for a little bit. It's hard to explain without giving multiple examples, but if you guys have questions, let me know. I will try to provide more examples whenever I can. 

And the third point is the enemy is a bringer of death. Now this this one's a little bit harder because it's kind of similar to stealing, but it's intended to end something. Now, Satan and the demons can of course influence the physical world and the people in it, especially those that don't belong to God, to those that don't have a relationship with him, that don't have the Holy Spirit in him or her, and the Satan and the demons are able to influence or even directly control those people to cause bad things to happen, and it it can it can end up being a loss of life or of finances or whatever. It can affect the the physical world. But that's not the only kind of death that Satan is interested in causing. He wants to cause death of every kind that he possibly can. Even in the Garden of Eden, the the first death that he wanted to cause was, of course, physical, but also relational. 

God had a relationship with Adam and Eve. They were walking and living in the garden, and they were in close relationship with God, and because Satan hates us and hates God, he sought to destroy that relationship, to kill it. And even though he was able to cause physical death to enter into the to the world, so that way human beings now die, now he's interested in killing other things. So killing, for instance, especially relationships. 

Satan hates good and healthy relationships. And I'm not just talking about romantic ones. Although although those are probably the number one source because it Satan also hates marriage. Satan isn't just interested in killing marriage relationships or even romantic relationships, but all good, beneficial relationships with human beings. So Satan may attempt to kill, in sort of a metaphorical way, your relationships with people. That'll be another big tip. So look for thoughts and feelings that seem to suggest that you should either discontinue a relationship that's good for you, or that the relationship isn't as good as it could be, and that you ought to find something better, and he he might push on the side of pride to get you to to uh indulge that idea. You deserve better. You need a partner that can satisfy you in all these different ways, or a partner that can provide for you in all these different ways. And you owe it to yourself, and you should do it Satan loves the current cult culture of the world of you deserve it, especially in America, that idea of you deserve it, you work hard, and people that uh don't agree with whatever it is that you want, whenever you want it, the way that you want it, the moment that you want it, they're toxic. It's a favorite catchphrase of his. So look be on the lookout for anything that tries to destroy or disrupt a friendship, especially or any relationship, I mean, especially um to put an end to it. 

Now, I'm not saying that there isn't like good reasons to discontinue a relationship or to cut off a friendship or to maybe take a break from somebody. There of course is, but Satan, in his desire to bring death, wants to bring death to all relationships that are good, that build you up, that bring you closer, especially to God, and um to ones that keep you honest and out of sin. So it might be a friend, it might be a coworker, it might be a family member, it might be somebody at the church, uh, whether they're a leader or just a lay person, uh, an attendee. It doesn't matter. If you have a good relationship with them and it's bringing about godly benefits, you can be certain that Satan is going to want to kill that relationship. And it's not just relationships, but I'm I'm harping on it a bit because that's one of his favorite things to go after. Good and godly relationships. Because they have a whole host of benefits. It keeps you more in the Word of God if you're surrounding yourself with people that are believers. 

It keeps you honest, it doesn't let you just do things however you want, whenever you want, um, because you you have to account for what other people want and and not to be selfish, and also uh it offers a degree of accountability. So you you can't just go off and continue in some secret sin if you have a lot of good relationships with people, people that know you well, that even you've given permission to be involved in your life, uh, those those are prime targets for Satan to want to kill. So, in a metaphorical sense, he wants to kill those relationships. So be on the lookout for things that you're hearing that encourages you to end a relationship. Be on the lookout for things that you're hearing that might tell you that you don't need that relationship, or people like that person that you're in a relationship with, or anything that suggests that those people really aren't looking out for your best interests, or that you've outgrown them, or that they're keeping you down, especially if it's in the context of they're preventing you from doing the sinful things that you want to do. 

And just because I'm a Christian, I'm not just sitting here thinking and telling you guys, you know, everyone who's not a Christian is entertaining sin and doing the sinful things that they want to do, and Christians aren't. That's not the case. Christians do still sin and they they do the sinful things that they want. Um, but hopefully there's a different way that they go about their life, and that that is not the norm for them. They don't they're not practicing sin. So I'm not saying that Christians don't entertain sinful things that we want to do. 

For instance, I mean I I used to uh I used to have a friend who was very much trying to help me uh understand the importance of getting porn and and lust out of my life. And at first I was open to it, but because I wanted to continue in those sins, I eventually listened to the enemy, and I I stopped being friends with that person because I felt that they were being pushy. I felt that they were being judgmental and all these other things, and then I started listening to those other lies that are like, you know, I deserve better. You know, this person doesn't really have my best interests out for me. They just want to police me. They want to be, they want to feel superior to me. They don't struggle with this thing, so they they want me to feel bad about it. So those are just some examples, but know for certain that one of the number one targets that the enemy will go after is good and healthy relationships, especially those that keep you or point you to God and living a godly relationship with him. But that's not the only thing that Satan wants to kill. He will also try to encourage you to do things that destroy your mind and your body. 

So he will encourage you to, you know, watch all kinds of things, whether it's pornography or just television shows that are anti-Christian or anti-God in any kind of sense. He will encourage you to watch those things or or make you not think about how harmful those things are that you're watching or listening to, if it's like, you know, audiobooks or even podcasts, you know, anything, anything that you are consuming in in some fashion, he wants those things to be harmful to you, and ideally for you to not care about how much it's hurting you or to be blind to how much it's hurting you. Okay, so he wants you to experience death in in multiple ways. So death of relationships, he also wants you to experience death in your body and your mind. 

So he might also encourage you to stay up really, really late. He might keep distracting you and trying to get you to worry about things that are coming up in the next day, in order that you get poor sleep, so that way the next day you're cranky and you're more likely to do more things that are not in your best interests, and where you have less inhibition, where you have less control over making good decisions. Um he'll encourage you to eat food that is not good for you, or to not eat food at all, or to abuse food, or um to have really bad eating habits of of all kinds, whether that's eating um too much, too little, too much, and then purging all the things. And uh, or just to eat really junky foods. He will also desire to create death in your mortal body and in your mind. Anything at all that he can do to disrupt that, to make it worse, and ultimately to cause death, that should be something that you should be on the lookout for. So, death relationships, death of your mortal body and your mind. And those things are going to be kind of cloaked, they're gonna be a little bit difficult to spot. But if you have the knowledge, if you're aware that your enemy wants to cause death and also especially likes to speak lies, you'll realize that he will try to convince you to do things or to not participate in things that would be good for you by feeding you lies. So that way you either do the bad things or you don't do the good things. 

So he'll try to cause death in relationships, especially, especially in marriages, your body and your mind. And then there are other ways, of course, that he can cause death. Maybe he tries to influence you to gamble or to overspend, to go go out shopping too much, or whatever it is, he'll try to cause death in some way, relationally, physically, mentally, financially. There are so many different ways that Satan can try to create death in your life, and it all helps if you're aware of his character, the truth of the Bible, and knowing your own internal voice. 

And so now to the part that I was mentioning at the beginning of the episode, when I was talking about the trigger warning, about suicide and depression, and all of this has to do a little bit with what I said before. It's really, really important to know what your own internal voice sounds like, the way that you sound when you are thinking silently to yourself, or the kinds of things that you find yourself even saying out loud, like, you know, you do something and uh, you know, maybe you're a little bit clumsy, and so you say something like, oh, gosh, I'm so dumb. Things like that. That that's included in your internal voice, even though it's external. Just the way that you talk to yourself, being aware of the way you talk to yourself is really important. And that's especially true if you're if it tends to be a little bit critical, you know, harsh or uh melancholic or like kind of mopey, depressed, or like just ho-hum. It's really important to know what your voice sounds like because, again, Satan is a mimic and a copycat, and if he's trying to kill, steal, or destroy you in some way, and if he can mimic the way that you normally sound yourself and you are kind of a little bit a little self-damaging, then it's especially important to know it because you need to have your defenses up even against yourself a little bit. So let's get into it. 

The topic of depression and suicide. So a little bit of background knowledge about me. I'm someone that struggled with depression for years. There were certain points in my life where I was suicidal, and I made some, I suppose, more minor attempts at committing suicide. And even though those were rare, it they left an indelible mark on me. One that I can't forget, and to this day, I'm still deeply concerned for people who who struggle with depression and especially with suicide. I'm especially sensitive to it, not in the sense like I get uh I I feel injured by it or anything like that, but as soon as someone mentions those kind of things, my ears perk up and you have my immediate attention. So even though the suicidal ideation and the attempts were somewhat minor and fleeting, it has left an impact on me, and I think it has a place in this episode that we need to talk about it. 

So I know for certain that there were many times where I had, you know, just really simply I had some brief fleeting thoughts of self-harm or suicide, and and like on those rare occasions I did even attempt. And I know for a fact, even though at those times I wasn't a Christian yet, I know it wasn't the enemy speaking to me. Or at least I'm pretty sure it wasn't. Because it's different from the way that uh the enemy speaks to me now. Maybe there is a difference between the way that the enemy speaks to people before they're a Christian and after, in terms of um what I'm about to describe. But I would say that at other times the the thoughts that I would have about harming myself or suicide, they would stay for me with hours at a time if I didn't try to redirect them. So that's this is what I'm trying to get at in terms of like how to know if it's the enemy or if it's yourself. 

For me at least, and I've talked to other people about this, and it it seems to be somewhat of a consensus. It's not, you know, it's not everyone that has depression or suicidal thoughts uh or feelings is gonna is gonna feel this way or act this way. But it seems like for me and those that I talked to, if I didn't redirect my thoughts to something else, I I would stay locked on that idea or those ideas for hours at a time. I wasn't always able to break out of those dark and disturbing thoughts, but looking back at that time now, I can see some differences between my depression symptoms and when I was hearing from the enemy. Whenever I was having those kinds of thoughts in my depression, most of the time I strongly desired to stop thinking about the things I was thinking about. Okay? So lock that in. Most of the time, I strongly desired to stop thinking about the things I was thinking about. Okay, and that's that's in my depression. Even though I'd sometimes ruminate or wallow in the misery of those thoughts, almost always I wanted to stop the thoughts I was having. I often didn't have the mental and emotional energy to redirect my thoughts, but I almost always wanted to stop those thoughts. 

Secondly, when it was only my depression flaring up, once I did redirect my thoughts, it was very rare for those thoughts and feelings to resurface in the same day. Now again, that could be different for individual people, but if at least for me, it was rare once I got it to be redirected, not just merely distracted away from those thoughts, but actually redirected, fully taken off of those ideas, onto something else, it was really rare for those thoughts and feelings to resurface in the same day. 

On the worst days, I might have to redirect my thoughts up to three times. Those are like my super bad days, but these occurred during times of acute, and pay attention to this because remember what I said about Satan trying to uh cause death of relationship. Whenever I would have to redirect my thoughts up to three times a day, it occurred during times of acute isolation and boredom. So I was alone and I was bored. I had nothing else to do, I didn't have to be anywhere, I didn't have to work, didn't have to do anything, and I was alone. And oftentimes I made myself alone. I isolated myself. However, when the enemy was talking to me, I'm like looking back to before I was a Christian, and I can I can look back and still see some of the times when he was attacking me. 

When the enemy was talking to me, and it wasn't just my depression symptoms flaring up, the thoughts that I was having would keep coming back over and over all throughout the day, and in varying degrees of intensity, those thoughts and feelings would swarm my mind. Even though I strongly wanted to stop having them, I couldn't. Whenever I have my own thoughts, it feels like I'm the one carrying the thoughts forward. So this is going to be a little bit difficult to understand unless you're one of those people that pays a lot of attention to what's going on internally in their own head. And for whatever reason I do that a lot, I recognize that that's not something that everybody does. People tell me, you're in your head too much. And I agree. This is just something I noticed, so I hope it helps you. Whenever it was me, whether those were depressive thoughts or just like ordinary thoughts, it felt like I was the one carrying along those thoughts. I was the one producing them and carrying them along and continuing them in some way, and I was like controlling the speed and the direction of them. So I can either have like really fast thoughts all at once, or I can take like my time and thinking them. But either way, it felt like I was in control of having the thought, the speed, the direction. 

But whenever it was the enemy, it felt like I was being pulled. It really felt like I was being pulled along by something outside of me. Additionally, the longer the thoughts went on and I remained unable to redirect them, the meaner and more vicious the thoughts would become. Another thing that I noticed was that those thoughts started matching the way I think and feel normally, less and less. So these thoughts that I can look back and I can see that it was the enemy attacking me, and not just my depression, those really mean and vicious thoughts that I was continuing to have that didn't feel like I was the one producing them or pulling them along, that was being pulled along by something or someone else, they started, the content of them, the tone of it all, it started to not match the way I normally think and feel. So on my good days when I'm not having depression, whatever, it it started to not match the kinds of things I would think or feel in my mind. 

I realize I'm probably gonna lose a couple people in in this episode just for the simple fact that I'm talking about depression and suicide, but also because like this is some weird, you know, esoteric, maybe some people would say new agey kind of content that I'm going through right now. And it's kind of hard to follow. So hopefully some of you guys out there can make sense of what I'm saying and that it's beneficial to you. But if it's not, I apologize. I'm just trying to help. 

So all of these things I would give to you as a another way to be reasonably sure that it's the enemy that you're hearing, even if you have depression. But if you do have depression, if you do struggle with suicide, you need to get a really good idea of how you talk to yourself. What does your internal voice sound like? What are the kinds of things that it says? Because you need to be able to spot things that are out of character, even for your depressed thoughts. Even in in when you're in your your low of lows, does that even really sound like you? Or, like I was mentioning earlier, is it encouraging you to do things or to not do things that would speed along the death of something in your life? Or something that would be taken away from you, something good taken away from you. So if the thoughts that you're hearing pull you ahead against your will, and you're unable to redirect those thoughts even after like several hours, the thoughts get meaner and sound less like you. And if it strongly insists harming yourself or committing suicide is a good thing, that is the enemy. 

So I'll list those things again. Unlike your depressive thoughts, that you have some degree of ability to control and redirect. When it's the enemy, you're being pulled along. It doesn't feel like you have much control. It goes on and on and on, despite your efforts to stop it. You don't want it to continue. The thoughts start getting meaner and sound less like you, even in your worst days and times. Like it just does not sound like you, especially if it encourages you to harm yourself, kill yourself, harm others, or kill others. 

Now I realize this is a super dark topic, but it's really important for those that are struggling with depression or any kind of like negative, pessimistic sort of mentality or inner voice that you have to be aware that you have to kind of guard yourself more than other people because Satan has to work even less to harm you. And I'm not saying I'm not saying anything about a person's character. I'm not saying that these people are are weak or pitiable or anything like that. It's just you're already wounded in a sense. And a soldier that's wounded is easier to kill or to maim if they're already wounded, right? Whereas someone that's a warrior that's healthy is harder to take down. Their defenses are more ready. They're better able to defend or to kill. 

So I'm saying all this stuff about depression and suicide for the benefit of people that do struggle with depression or suicidal thoughts. And I just want to say this: if you struggle with suicide or depression, and whether you're a Christian or you are not a Christian, and you have not gone and talked to somebody at least, at least gone to a counselor and had some ongoing conversations, you know, more than five, I strongly encourage you to do it. There are all kinds of different helplines and services, many of them that are free. And there are people that you can talk to and it is not beyond hope. Whatever you're going through, suicide is not gonna help. It won't make things better. It just ends the possibility of anything going well. It removes the possibility of good from happening. And if you have no one to talk to, you can reach out to me. I'm not I'm not like a psychologist, I'm not a a licensed professional in any kind of way. But if you just need somebody to talk to, I can talk to you. I can't be the only person that you talk to, but I want you to know that I'm available and that I do care. But more importantly, God does care and he will be there for you if you call out to him. 

So, whether you have depression or not, whether you've ever struggled with suicide or not, you need to know that Satan loves to lie, steal, kill, and destroy. I mentioned the idea of when Satan says things in a way that's in a questioning manner. It's one of his favorite ways to do it. In fact, you see that right away in the garden in Genesis, when Adam and Eve are created and they're in the garden, and they hadn't yet sinned, they hadn't yet rebelled against God, and they were given instructions. They were told not to eat of the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. All the other trees, they could eat any of the fruit that was provided in the garden, they weren't allowed to eat the fruit of that tree only, and they were told, if you do, you will die. 

And so Satan comes along, knowing full well what it was that God had commanded, Adam and Eve, and instead of outright contradicting it in a lie right away, after he tempts Eve to eat from the tree, she tells him, like, no, I can't do that. You know, if I if I eat it, or if I even look at it, I will die. And right then there, Satan knows that he has an opening because Eve kind of added a little bit to what God told them, kind of like as a way of, I guess, protecting, like as a further measure against not sinning, you know, by saying, we can't even look at this tree. And so Satan kind of gets the idea right away, like, if I add to what was said, what I know was said by God, or if I twist or redirect the meaning of something that God said, that I know he said, and that she knows that he said, well then I can probably get away with subtly suggesting through a question something untrue. So through a question, he tries to get her to believe a lie. 

So one of the things that Satan does right away in the Garden of Eden with Adam and Eve is he gets them to believe a lie through a question. It's one of his favorite ways to do it, because he knows what God commanded Adam and Eve to do. First he says, Did God actually say, You shall not eat of any tree in the garden? He knows what God said, but he's testing Eve and Adam, who is strangely silent in this entire thing, testing them on their knowledge of the Word of God. And he's deliberately misquoting what God told them. He didn't say that they couldn't eat of any tree. He said, You can eat of every tree except this one. Now, this is just my conjecture here, but I think Satan senses an opportunity. Because she gets what God told them right, but she adds on to it. So then he immediately contradicts Scripture. Oh no, you you surely won't die. And then he does this little bit where he basically insinuates that God is holding out something good from them. That God really isn't as good as he says he is. And he's insinuating that God is being stingy, he's he's not being generous, he's not being as good as he claims to be. 

So he casts doubt on the goodness and generosity of God. He's insinuating that God is holding out, he's not giving Adam and Eve the best. And through a number of different means, she is tempted. It it looks good to eat. She realizes it's good for her to know things, and especially to know the difference between good and evil, and she knows and loves God and and wants to be like him. But Satan twists all that and he implants this idea that God is lying to you. He's withholding from you and he's being stingy in some way. He's not really out for your best interest, he's not really good, basically. That's that's the that's what he's going after. He wants Adam and Eve to believe God's holding out on you. He's not being 100% truthful with you, he's holding out, he's keeping the best from you, and you should just do this thing that I suggest because those things are good, right? 

And so that's one of his means of of getting in there to get you to believe a lie. He will twist what was said, he will lie about what was said, and if you're not fur if you're not firm about that, or if you don't know what the truth is, you know, you will swallow that lie without any hesitation. And then he will give you an incentive, a reason to disobey. He will give you a reason why sinning is better than obedience. And that will bring about the theft of something, or the destruction of something, or the death of something. So be on the lookout. 

If you're if you're hearing thoughts that are questioning, and they're aimed at especially if they're aimed at the idea of God is not really as good as he claims to be, or that he's withholding from you, or that he's not really out for your best interests, or that you actually know what the better option is, you know what the better choice is, you could make a better decision than what God's saying you should do. If he can somehow convince you of that, sin becomes inviting, and he can bring about the death or the theft or the destruction of something that is good in your life. 

So say that you are you're really struggling, maybe you've you've been single for a long time, and you know that you're really not supposed to be dating people that aren't also believers because there's complications with it, it's it's difficult, they also might not um share your viewpoints, they might encourage you to sin in all kinds of different ways, or they they might ultimately pull you away from faith in God altogether. Those are some of the reasons that the Bible gives for why believers should date other believers. 

But because you've been single for so long, and because you're lonely and you you want to start a family, or whatever your reasons are for wanting to be in a relationship, Satan might say something to you like, Don't you think you've been patient long enough? Don't you think you've been alone long enough? How come so-and-so gets to have a spouse and you don't? Or how come so-and-so gets to go out on dates and they're not even a very nice or good person and you don't? And you've been patiently waiting. Don't you think that if God had somebody for you, he would have already given them to you? Maybe what you should do is pick somebody that's good enough. You on your own, you you're smart enough. I mean, you've dated other people before. You know what you like, what you don't like, what's good, what's bad. And you're a good Christian. He might go with that option. You're a good Christian, so I mean, it's not like if you started dating somebody that wasn't a believer, that you know, you'd all of a sudden just give up your faith. That's ridiculous. Of course not, of course not. No, no, no, no. You because you know the dangers involved, you can still date this person, and who knows, you actually might be the reason why they become a believer. 

This is this is a classic move, by the way. Satan has done this to so many people in the church for forever. The whole suggestion of, well, maybe they'll become a believer because of you. Well, probably not. But even if they did, the suggestion is God is holding out on you. He doesn't have your best interests in mind. You've been a good and patient Christian, and you should just take what you want. Similar to Adam and Eve. Take the fruit, eat of it because of the things that it can give you, or at least the things that Satan says it can give you. So that might be that might just be one example--an example where he is getting you to question why you should continue to be obedient to God's commandment in some way, or getting you to question the goodness of God. So be on the lookout for that. 

Alright, guys, so I've I've said a lot, but basically be on the lookout for lies. Be on the lookout for thoughts that have to do with the idea of distancing yourself from good relationships, especially, and also anything that's good for you. So, like if you've been doing really good with exercise or um with eating healthy foods or whatever, and all of a sudden a bunch of thoughts come in that suggest that you not exercise or not eat healthy foods or um not take care of your mental health. Like maybe you've been going to see a therapist and he's like, Oh, you've done enough work. I mean, you've you really got around the bend on that issue, and that's not really an issue for you anymore. So, you know, this is good enough. Anything that can steal, kill, or destroy, have your guard up against those. Especially if they have to do with isolating yourself from good relationships, especially Christian ones if you are Christian or hang out with people in, you know, Christian circles. 

And then if you have depression, know that you have to be even more aware of your own thoughts and feelings. And also be on the lookout for questions like the ones that Satan was asking Eve in the garden. Questions that are designed to make you doubt the goodness of God, that he is really interested in your best, that he has your best interests at heart, that he is not as generous as he says he is, that he's not as good as he says he is, and ultimately that he can't really be trusted. Be on the lookout for those kinds of questions that spring up in your mind, and you guys will be on the ball and ready for spotting tricks of the enemy. 

So, guys, I have said a ton. This episode is the longest one I've ever done, and uh I have so much more to say on spiritual warfare, so maybe later it will be a whole series uh because I just have a ton to say on it. Um, let me just close out in prayer. 

Father, I ask that you bless this episode, that those who listen to the entire thing come through at the end with a clear idea of when the enemy is speaking to them. I ask that you give those that listen and those that try to put these things into practice, that you give them discernment so that way they're able to be aware of when it's happening. And then finally to have a commitment to knowing what your scripture says, what your word says, what the truth is, so that way it's easier for them to spot lies when they come around. And Father, I just also ask for protection, that um, especially for those that are just getting into Christianity, that you protect them from lies of the enemy, whether they are just coming uh straight from the enemy or through other people. Father, I just ask that you protect them. As we go out through our week, Lord, I just ask that you are with each one of us, that you are showing us more and more of your truth and helping us to spot when the enemy is lying to us so that way we can absolutely deny him and refuse to listen to a word he has to say, and only listen to you. Pray all these things in Jesus' name. Amen. Which means I think you guys like the things that you're hearing. If that's true, if you are enjoying this podcast, go ahead and like or subscribe, rate or review this podcast, and that would be incredible. Not only would that personally encourage me to keep going, it also makes it easier for other podcast listeners to find this podcast. So go ahead and do that, help us podcast out, and I hope to hear you guys soon. In the meantime, keep praying.