001 Introduction

What does ADHD and prayer have in common? The answer is your host, Nickolas Meinerz. This podcast came about in a strange way, created by a strange man, and inspired by a strange, but wonderful God. In this opening episode, get to know your blue-haired host and how this podcast came to be.

7:55 -CRU (Campus Crusade for Christ)
11:16 -ADHD reWired podcast
11:25 - Eric Tivers’ online ADHD reWired Coaching and Accountability Group (Arc)

Transcript

001 Introduction Transcript

Hello and welcome to holistic Christian prayer.

[0:10] This podcast is for anyone seeking to understand and enjoy prayer in new and deeper ways. I'm Nicholas miners. A spirit led Christian who has ADHD and with credentials like that, I can already hear every single one of you slamming the subscribe and share buttons on your various podcast devices, right? Right.

[0:29] Oh, could you just push the button? I appreciate it. Thanks. I can only imagine the reaction some of you might be having, right? I anticipate at least three groups of people's reactions bewildered, relieved and excited. I can easily imagine many people reading or hearing the podcast description and think to themselves that this podcast really isn't necessary. After all, what's simpler than prayer? And who doesn't know how to do it? Some in this first group might even think the idea of enjoying prayer as irrelevant. Prayer is just something you do. It's not a matter of enjoyment, but simply a duty or religious task.

     
 [1:11] For a minority. In this first group, they consider enjoyment of prayer an earmark of genuine faith. For this bewildered group, this podcast isn't really needed or shouldn't be needed for any genuine believer. For the relieved group, you've been struggling a long time and knew it. Or you've been struggling for a long time and weren't aware of it. Those that fall in this reaction group, the relieved group. You've found what you were searching for, even if you didn't know you were searching. 

[1:46] This is the group that I have enormous compassion for, and the group that I had in mind when I began creating this podcast. You know you're in this group if you've been avoiding prayer, intentionally or unintentionally, you're in this group. If when you go to pray, you don't know what to say or how to say it, or if you have doubts that anything you say is even being heard by God. 

[2:00] You're in this group if after you've done praying, you feel like you somehow did it wrong. Those in this group find prayer most of the time to be boring. Depressingly one-sided, pointless, dry, confusing, draining, impotent or as something they simply aren't good at. Anyone that belongs to this group looks at their experiences in prayer and asks, is this it? Is this all there is? Am I missing something? People in the second group are uncomfortable with prayer or sense to some degree that their experience of prayer isn't what it ought to be. I'm very confident that if you belong to this group and put into practice the things you will hear on this podcast, you will find relief.

[2:59] The people in the last group, the excited group, will undoubtedly be the smallest of the three. These people already enjoy prayer but are looking for ways to go deeper in their relationship with God. You belong to this group. If you sense there is yet more joy to be found in your prayer life. And you are seeking it out. No matter what sort of reaction you're having to discovering this podcast, I firmly believe that if you put into practice the things you can learn here, you will come away understanding prayer more, enjoying it more, and deepen your relationship with God. Allow me to briefly pray for those that will hear this podcast. 

[3:38] Father, thank you for putting this idea to start the podcast in my mind. Thank you for being so persistent. Thank you for helping me have endurance as I go about all of this. Father I ask that you bless this. Industry, this thing that You've called me to do. And I pray that no matter how well or how poorly I teach that people are hearing truths that come from Your scripture, truths that come from your inspiration, truths that come from the Holy Spirit, Who tells us the things of God. Who helps us to understand all that you have for us? God, I ask that as people listen to this podcast, they are encouraged and they find a life that is more wonderful than they've ever known. And I pray that they will pass it on to other people. God, I just ask that You direct me. You help me stay open to everything You have to say. And that I don't stray away from whatever is written in Your word or anything that's contrary to what You've told me. God direct us all and help us to know You better. In Jesus name. Amen.

[4:48] You know, I have to admit that I'm so excited to begin that I honestly don't even want to spend the time doing a proper introduction. You know, typical ADHD style. I don't. I don't want to do the whole, you know, telling you about myself and explaining how this podcast came about. But since it'll probably help you guys get to know me and hopefully get you excited about this podcast, I'll do it. The organizational side of my brain strongly dislikes what I'm about to do, but it should just be grateful that anything at all stays organized with me it. Me to keep the about me stuff and the explanation of how the podcast came to be in their own distinct categories. But in all reality, they are somewhat the same thing. So, here's the story in chronological order as best as I can remember it. 

[5:34] I grew up in a non-Christian home and for the first 19 years of my life I was a deeply committed agnostic. I believe that God existed, but that no one religion was true. Additionally, I was convinced that out of all the religions in the world, Christianity was the most corrupt and untrue religion of them all. I was very hostile towards Christians. In fact, I thoroughly enjoyed debating Christians and ridiculing them to their face. Few things back then brought me more satisfaction than seeing Christians struggle to answer the plethora of objections and arguments I hurled at them. Many would just become frustrated and walk away. But if I could cause a Christian to doubt their faith on account of what I said to them. I felt immense satisfaction. 

[6:22] How I got from being like that to running a podcast about Christian prayer is a longer story. For another time. Growing up, I was always a straight a student right up until about the 7th or 8th grade. I could easily memorize large amounts of information. Rarely studied at all, and ACE every test, but from 7th or 8th grade on my memory ability to focus and my grades began to decline. High school was brutal, even outside of school. I was struggling to remember things, tune out distractions, and remain motivated to do things, even things I like to do. I lost a few jobs as well. 

[7:04] College was even worse. I couldn't get enough financial aid to pay for my courses in housing. So I was forced to work two jobs most of the time I lost a couple more jobs due to tardiness. I went to some mental health professionals, did some sparse counseling. And was diagnosed with depression. The medication helped with the very low and negative feelings, but it didn't restore what I had gradually been losing. I tried and ultimately failed over the next 10 years to complete a bachelor's program and was left a mountain of student loan debt when I was almost 20 and after a very lengthy personal investigation into Christianity. Despite all odds, I became a Christian. I dyed my hair blue and with enormous enthusiasm, I joined Campus Crusade for Christ, which is non-denominational Christian campus ministry.

[7:57] That excitement and enthusiasm was strong for a time, and I often enjoyed prayer even though I often didn't know what I was doing and felt unsure of. Over time, my enthusiasm and especially my enjoyment of prayer, nearly flatlined when I turned 24, I decided to finally. Get tested for ADHD. I had put off doing this for many years, even though I suspected I might have it. What I was experiencing didn't seem to match up very well with how other people seemed to experience ADHD. To me, my struggles seemed to arrive almost overnight during middle school. I found out later through my report cards and other things from the past that my struggles surfaced much sooner than I noticed them. Despite the differences in my experience and the experience of others. I was tested for ADHD anyways. I was shocked when the results came back. There was no question I had ADHD and it wasn't a mild case of it. 

[8:57] Shortly afterwards, I began taking medication for my ADHD and I immediately noticed significant improvements. Whenever I could afford to buy the medication and when I remembered to actually take the medication, things went well for me. Only after a short amount of time of taking the ADHD medications, I realized that although many of my cognitive faculties were being greatly restored, they were only restored for as long as the medications were active in my brain. It took me a little longer to realize a more distressing truth, though. 

[9:30] Growing up with ADHD, undiagnosed and untreated cause me to develop abnormally as humans grow up into adulthood. Most people acquire and hone skills as their brains as well as their bodies develop. However, because of my ADHD, some of my skills were delayed. Some of my skills were permanently halted. And other skills were prevented from developing entirely while taking the medication for my ADHD brought back the availability of my cognitive abilities, it didn't help me understand how to use them. In other words, it made me capable of things I couldn't do before, but I either had very little or no experience in using them. And so, I eventually turned to the methods that quote UN-quote worked before. 

[10:18] When I say worked, I mean things that kind of got me along, but they weren't necessarily good or helpful. And in fact it caused a lot of other problems in my better moments I tried. Purposefully develop skills that I knew needed improvement. But I struggled to wield the cognitive abilities that were returned to me by the ADHD medication. Eventually, after many frustrating failed attempts, I stopped making attempts to improve my skills and resign myself to my old methods. I came to believe that the medication gave back to me the awareness that I didn't have certain skills. Some capacity to use previously unavailable cognitive abilities and the opportunity to watch myself fail to successfully wield those returned abilities.

[11:06] I drifted in and out of this hopeless mindset for the next couple years. About 3 years ago, I found Eric Tiver's ADHD rewired podcast. And after several months of listening and applying some of what I heard on the episodes, I decided to join his online coaching and Accountability Group in April of 2020. This online group is where I learned a number of skills and strategies to manage my ADHD better. One of the things that God has continually made clear to me throughout my life as a Christian is that I need other people and that other people need me. 

[11:38] I found enormous strength, encouragement and fresh perspectives from others in this online group. It was from the support, love, wisdom and the experiences of the group that I was able to get my ADHD under control. I've always been somewhat of a loner and a little reclusive, but once I experienced the power of being in a community of people who really ca. Me and understood me. I became a firm believer in the importance of a caring community. I should have probably found this kind of care and support for my church before this point, but until I joined this online group, I stubbornly refused to be in community with other believers in my church outside of Sunday services. So. That was just bad on me, not my church.

[12:25] In the end, God taught me the importance and the power of community, and it's a lesson I eagerly share with others. Fast forward to around November of 2020. 

[12:39] I'm unable to pinpoint when my enthusiasm for evangelism and my enjoyment of prayer began diminishing, but within the last few months of 2020, it was clear to me that my enthusiasm was gone and prayer was something I wanted to avoid. I found prayer to be dry, confusing, frustrating and to be perfectly honest, nearly pointless. Prayer didn't seem to change much of anything in my life, and I often came away from a time of prayer. Feeling angry, depressed and silently rejected by God. 

[13:11] It didn't matter if I spent a minute or a whole day praying, I ended up with the same results. I didn't want to feel this way, and I often wondered if other Christians felt the way that I did. At some point I began seeking out books, sermons, devotionals and other sources that could tell me more about prayer. 

[13:34] One of the books that significantly impacted me was Tim Keller's book called Prayer. I had just finished reading Tim Keller's book —The Prayer book —when I heard an episode of James Warner Wallace's podcast Stand to Reason. In that episode, he challenged his listeners to be believers who lead and who contribute in whatever way they can. Right now, instead of waiting until some later time when they have a job, the degree the whatever I felt very strongly nudged by God as I was listening. To start contributing. 

[14:04] When I ask God in what way I should contribute, I didn't get an immediate answer. I don't really hear from God in words very often and never as an audible voice. Sometimes I “hear” a word or phrase from God in my head. I know a weird thing— but hang tight for when we talk about hearing from God, this will be discussed in detail. Most of the time I don't hear any words and instead gobble seemingly connect disconnected ideas, memories and emotions to form what he wants me to know. I found myself thinking about the online group, the content of Tim Keller’s book. And my own displeasure with prayer, I found myself thinking about these things often, even when I didn't want to. 

[14:50] At first I would only think about these things when I went in prayer to ask God about how I should contribute. But then it. No matter where I was or what I was doing. I wondered why this kept happening and asked God what it meant. I can only describe what God did as an internal gesture of sorts. It was as if the Holy Spirit gestured to my thoughts about the online ADHD group. What I learned from Tim Keller and my displeasure with prayer. Was a thoughtful shrug. Again, I didn't hear any words, but this sort of shrug. I felt the Holy Spirit do within me, communicated the thought of “maybe”.

[15:31] My ADHD got better when I got into community learning new management strategies and put new methods into practice. My prayer life was in shambles, and I felt almost as helpless about improving it as I used to feel about getting my ADHD symptoms under control. The memory of how that online community group became the catalyst of change illuminated my mind. And like a spotlight, it shone on the gesture. Felt the Holy Spirit do earlier and it in an instant. Everything came together into a full thought: “Maybe you'll feel different about prayer if you learn something new about it and try doing it in a new way.”

[16:11]  I knew from the peculiar way that God communicated this to me that this was the answer to the question of how I should begin contributing. The problem was though I had already been learning more about prayer and trying out new things, I wasn't seeing any improvement. I thought the online group again and after a couple of minutes of thinking I felt a little dim witted for not understanding the connection right away. Remember when I said that God had taught me the importance and power of community? God wanted me to learn about and experience prayer with other people, but as a contributor and leader, one of the things that I have learned about myself over the years is that I love to learn and I love to teach, but I learn best when I teach. Suddenly my way of contributing was clear. Teach and learn about prayer with others. 

[17:01] So, I created a Facebook group and invited close to 30 of my friends and family inside and outside the church to join me in learning how to pray together. I hosted the group in person at my house and online—cause COVID— and we met every Sunday for several months. I would read books, read articles, watch videos and then teach what I reviewed. Compare it to what we know about the Bible and then discuss at length with the others what they think of what I read and taught. We would also pray for each other at the beginning or the end of the group session. In the last two months, the group continued to meet, we began mastermind sessions. 

These sessions were designed to be a time where we would examine the prayer practices, beliefs and expectations of one person in our group at a time and together find new ways of approach to improve their prayer life. These mastermind sessions required a lot of vulnerability. Trust in the group, honesty with oneself and others, and a lot of courage. However, those that decided to participate in the mastermind sessions found them enormously helpful. 

[18:04] The months leading up to the end of the group, several people had encouraged me to consider podcasting. I consider it from time to time, but while the group was still in attendance, I simply didn't have the time to do both. The Holy Spirit nudged me again to contribute, but this time to begin a podcast after the prayer group ended, I had the time to begin podcasting. The same internal gesture I felt earlier from the Holy Spirit came to mind, along with the thought of maybe. The group that had been meeting at my house turned out to end before I wanted it to. But when it did end, I felt assured that it wasn't going to be permanent. I had so many topics to explore and insights to share from things I studied, and I didn't want things to end. I was just beginning to see some changes in my life and the life of others when circumstances caused the group to no longer be feasible.

[18:54] Turning the prayer group into a podcast could keep me teaching, learning and growing, and most important of all, it would get me contributing right now. I don't really remember when. I suddenly realized that there were many things I learned to manage my ADHD that could be powerfully put to purpose in improving prayer life. As a matter of fact, I had very deliberately used some of what I had learned from that online ADHD group to assist people in the prayer group I had taught in my home. To my amazement, not only did those things work in the prayer group, but they were especially effective. I decided right then that if I was going to do a podcast about prayer, I wanted to use what I learned about managing my ADHD. Improve the prayer life of others. So there you have it. A short story. About part of my life and how this podcast came to be. 

[19:46] Prayer is one of the most complex and simple topics in the. The most brilliant minds in the world can strain to understand it and fail to, while small children can grasp it and pray with ease. Prayer is both easy and difficult to do. Prayer is an experiential enigma. Join me next time as we try to understand what prayer is? It's so much more than what I used to think it is and is definitely able to change far more than you or I can imagine.

[20:20] My desire for this podcast is to learn about and enjoy prayer more alongside you. Am a student. The Eternal student, and I'll never know enough about prayer to feel that I'm any kind of authority. I will put in my best effort to teach well and to learn well from all of you. On this podcast we will explore different approaches to prayer. Find the time to pray and discover who we are and who God is as we bring all of who we are to prayer. This is holistic Christian prayer. Prayer for the other six days. Let's pray. 

[20:55] Father, thank you for what you've begun. Thank You for the course that you've set ahead. Thank you for all the people that have tuned in for this first episode and for all those that will listening. Father, give me endurance. Give me clarity. But most of all, help me to speak truth. Help me to be a guiding light and a source of encouragement and hope. And Lord use this podcast in whatever way is glorifying to You. Me humble. Keep me close to Your truth and may many people be blessed by engaging with this podcast. Thank You, Father. Thank you, Jesus. Thank you, Holy Spirit. Thank you, Lord, for all that You give us. All You are. In Jesus name. Amen.